If you took every logical flaw, narrative misstep, and character inconsistency from the Jurassic Park franchise, crammed them into one film, stripped away all sense of consequence, intelligence, or accountability—and then dialed the collective IQ of the characters down to single digits—you’d get Jurassic World: Rebirth. A movie so baffling in its execution, it makes you nostalgic for the restraint of Jurassic Park III.

Host(s) Thomas Cowley, Michael Flores